It turns out that people do research on this stuff so we have some experts to turn to. In particular John Gottman who works out of the University of Washington (http://www.gottman.com/) has studied thousands of couples and has some very good ideas about what creates strong, loving relationships that last. Drawing from of Gottman’s principles and my experience as a therapist, I have created this list of good habits. Here are the first two.
Good Habit #1: Be nice.
If you are not sure what meanness is I will spell it out here: Name calling, belittling, eye rolling. Lying. Yelling in a way that scares your partner, throwing things, breaking or destroying things that matter to your partner. Putdowns, expressing lack of confidence in your partner, making fun of your partner. I think you get the idea. All of these behaviors are mean spirited and corrosive to your relationship.